Tap tap tap. This thing on? Hello, can you hear me?
There. That’s better. Welcome to Dr. Disturbo’s Mystery Blog!
Greetings, mortals of the planet Earth! It is I again, your future world DickTater. 
I have once again hijacked the blog of the beautiful Ms. Wylie to suit my own purposes and gains. Ain’t that spectaculous?
So, miniminions, tonight I wanted to talk to you about something near and dear to my dusty black heart. Indie publishing.
Whoozamawatcher?
Indie, or independent publishing. Now I know that many a author follows the blogtastic universe of Wyles, so I know I don’t need to fill you in on the details, but I’ll put in a quick blurb for the muggles.
Basically when you write a book, there are three ways to get it published.
One, is to do it yourself. Amazon, B&N, Smashwords, and Omnilit have basically made it an UPLOAD AND SELL UNIVERSE. Write a book? Sell it as an eBook! Simple yet effective. Basically anybody can be an author these days. All you need is a computer, an internet connection, a firm grasp of the English Language, excellent grammar skills, artistic ability, word processing skills, a wizard like knowledge of photoshop, marketing skills, and last but not least, 38 hours in a day.
The second way is find yourself an agent. Rewrite your manuscript 300 times until they find it acceptable to send out to the big publishing houses in hopes that they actually pick it up, write you a big check, fly you all over the country, put your book in every bookstore in america, make nice posters with your face on it, and you live happily ever after. If this sounded unrealistic to you, it did to me. I wasted six months of my life trying to find an agent. I vowed NEVER to go this route again. I put my books out there…if they like they can come find me. I know this probably sounds pretty arrogant. It’s not. I don’t have an arrogant bone in my body. I dislike arrogant people. Ergo ipto facto sum wingardium leviosa…I don’t like agents. (If you’re an agent and you’re reading this paragraph, I apologize. I’m heavily medicated. If you’re NOT an agent I’ll let you in on a little secret…I just said that so they’d think I was.)
Now, the third method of publishing your book…
Independent publishers are basically moral humane individuals who happen to know a little more about publishing that most authors. Remember that whole paragraph two sections up where I listed all the knowledge you needed to publish your book? Yeah, well, they haz it. Or haz people who haz it. Basically all you need to do is write and market. Yes I said market. Any author who doesn’t market their own books, obviously doesn’t want the tri-level mansion in the hills of Malibu. (Pssst. Does Malibu have hills? I don’t even know to be honest, but it sounded good.)
What’s the downside to signing with an indie pub? I’ll be honest with you. Money. They don’t work for free people. But most (and I do mean most. Sure there are some evil bastards out there, but there is in every profession) are honest, hard working people. They never demand money for publishing your work. I mean that. Read that last sentence carefully. If a publisher tells you they need money to put your book out…tell them to go suck a camel’s butt. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. I can’t emphasize that enough. No. Nuh uh. Just sayin.
So you find yourself an indie pub. They take your manuscript, edit it, make a cover, go over it with a fine tooth comb, upload it into all the available sites, put it out in paper back, make it all perdy and legit. What’s the downside? Cut your royalty check in half. Just like the big publishers, they take a percentage of your royalties. Fair trade? I think so. The trick is to find the best indie pub out there. Search the net. Search their names. See if anything bad comes back. Ask around. Ask on twitter. Ask on Facebook. As your local government. Call the Better Bidness Bureau. As a friend. Ask a neighbor. My point is…DO YOUR HOMEWORK. If you do your due diligence, chances are you’re going to be a LOT better off just by picking the name off a list and going with it.
Is there any downside to being an Indie Published Author? Why I’m glad you asked that!
There are a few. Most aren’t worth mentioning. It IS a lot of work. You can’t market some of the time. You really have to get out there and make your name known. You have to go to cons and fests and stand next to people wearing propellered beanies and have names like “RightSock”. It’s interesting. But you know what? It’s fun as hell
I LOVE CONS! THEMZ MAH PEOPLEZ!
The MAJOR downside is going into bookstores. TO me that is the end all be all of being a writer. Being able to stop into any bookstore in any town and say, “Hey. Look. That’s my book. I did that.”
Indie publishers just don’t have the distribution capabilities of the big publishers. I may never get that lil ole dream of mine to happen (That’s why I lied to the agents in paragraph 3 or 4. Just in case)
Well, as usual, I hope you enjoyed my hiya jacking of this here blog. I’ll be back next month to wreak more havoc on you unsuspecting mortals.
PS
Here’s my new book.
Go buy it so I don’t have to market tomorrow.
And here’s the one Wyles and I did together!
Born the son of a fire chief, Sean naturally developed a love of playing with fire. His family and friends quickly found other outlets for his destructive creativity. Writing is his latest endeavor.
Always a fan of the macabre, mythical, and magical, Sean found a love of urban fantasy and horror. After writing several novels in this genre, he found, fell in love with, and immersed himself in steampunk. He has always wanted to rewrite history and steampunk gave him that opportunity.
Sean currently lives in Florida as a fiber-optic engineer as well as an author. He was blessed with the two most amazing children he could ever hope for, has met the absolute love of his life, who coincidentally is his partner in everything. His hobbies include grand designs on world domination as well as a starring role in his own television sitcom.
