It’s that time of the month again…er…um. No. Not that. I mean it’s that time of the month where I take over my favorite Canadian’s blog and spout my incoherent ramblings about the joys of being a somewhat author hell bent on world domination. Jeez.
So as I sat here tonight trying to think of something to talk about, I had a realization. Okay, it was actually halfway through writing the blog post that I just deleted. You see a lot of people know me from Twitter and Facebook and go ahead and ask them. They’ll tell you. “He’s effin crazy.” Yeah. I am. ON THERE. You see, social media lets me ANONYMOUSLY share my random thoughts and I’ll admit it. SoMe OF tHeM are a little nutty. But that’s just it. I get to hide behind a wall of somewhat anonymity. I don’t have to deal with repercussions. Which is nice. People think shaydenfl is a friggin whack job. Hmmmmm. He might be. I think I just had another realization. I might have multiple personality disorder. I’ll have to discuss that at length with myself later.
Anyway, to the point of this blog. I’m going to share things about me that I don’t really talk about on the internet. I’ll share my darkest confessions. I’ll share my deepest dreams and aspirations. I’ll even share personal details my therapist doesn’t know about. Consider this a factoid sheet for future reference. Now I’m sure some of you don’t give a crap, but I thought it would be a nice change.
Now most of you know from my BIO I was born in the suburbs of Chicago. Arlington Heights to be exact. My dad was fire chief there until he retired at the age of 50 in 1984.
If you just did the math, my dad would be 78 now. He passed away ten years ago from lung cancer. Yes I still smoke. My dad quit when he was 39.
My parents are a LOT older than me. In fact, so are my brothers. I have four of them, well actually 3 now. My next oldest brother, John, passed away in May. He was in a horrible motorcycle accident 5 years exactly before the day he died. He suffered massive head trauma and the injuries to his brain were so extensive that it eventually shut down his organ functions. It truly sucks because he was normal for the 5 years he lived.
I just turned 38. My brothers are John who would be 50 this May, Jim who will be turning 52 in July, Bill is 54, and Mike is 56. See? A LOT older. I once said to my Mom, “Mom, did you know I was born 9 months to the day after Viet Nam was declared over?” She replied with “No, but I know you were born 9 months to the day after your dad made fire chief.”
I went to public school up in Chicago. When we moved to Florida the public schools were somewhat lacking back in the 80s. My parents made the decision to send me to Catholic School from 6th grade to 12th grade. I did time in St Anastasia and John Carroll High School in beautiful downtown Ft Pierce, Fl (sarcasm). I loved Catholic School soooooo much, I haven’t stepped foot in a church since I graduated High School in 1991 (yes, I just had my 20 year reunion, suck it).
Once I got out of High School, I tried the whole “Go to College and get you some edumacation” thing. My college was exactly 2. 8 miles from the beach and 1.4 miles from the Mall. That didn’t work out so well. Might as well mention the fact that I have the attention span of a gnat right now. What were we talking about? Oh yeah, me.
So I did what every other red blooded american boy my age did who didn’t go to college. I got a job. I got a bunch of jobs. I ended up bar tending at Red Lobster (That’s a whole other tale for another day. WOW)
Then I had a revelation. I should join the military.
I should probably take the time to mention, that sometimes I’m not that bright. My friend actually talked me into talking to a “Recruiter”. That’s what they call them. “Lying assholes” also applies. They fed me a load of horse crap a mile long and got my to sign my cajones over to Uncle Sam for four years. They lied about my job and pissed me off. They got me to join their “Nuclear Program” as an ELECTRONICS TECHNICIAN. After I graduated boot camp I got, “Huh, that should have read MACHINISTS MATE.” So basically they wanted me to be a glow in the dark plumber. I said no and flunked out of Nuke school on purpose. The told me I could pick any job in the Navy
I picked Sonar tech
Dee Dee DEEEEEEEEE
After about nine months of schooling in San Diego I was a full fledged sonar technician. They scheduled to put me on a boat. I panicked. I did NOT want to spend the next three years of my life listening to whales hump only to have to find a COMPLETELY different job when I got out of the Navy. Not a huge demand for Sonar Techs out in the real world
So I did what any other red blooded american who didn’t want to do something he didn’t want to do would do.
I found a loophole
Won’t bore you with details, but lets just say me and 5 other guys used this loophole to get out. They changed the rules right after we left and we all ended up with honorable discharges. 😀
So I went back to florida
and my jobs.
and my friends.
and partied like a rock star for a few years
I met a girl from New York and decided to settle down. We dated for a month before I proposed. We were married nine months later (no she wasn’t pregnant). We got along like Nitrogen and Glycerin. Managed to keep it together and have two wonderful, amazing, beautiful, everything I could ever hope for, perfect children. My father passed and her mother passed. The nitrogen and glycerin days were over. Trust me, those were the good old days. We managed to stay together for a total of 14 years. We are currently separated and working on a divorce agreement. 38 is a hell of an age to totally rebuild your life.
I have a really decent job. I work as a telecommunications and fiber optic engineer for the local cable company. They trained me from day one and I’ve been with them for quite a while.
Two years ago I met the best friend anyone could ever have. Six months ago, I separated and moved in with my mom (yeah, I’m THAT guy).
After I left, I met my best friend in real life for the first time at Printer’s Row Lit Fest in Chicago. Sparks flew and we weren’t just best friends anymore. I’ll leave the rest to your imaginations. Needless to say, I know who I’m spending the rest of my life with. Without a doubt.
I’m sure the next chapters in my life will be interesting.
That’s the high lights of my life. The rest is pretty mundane.
I love animals. Currently I have a hamster, a snake, two bunnies, two fish, and an australian sugar glider as pets.
I see my kiddos as much as humanly possible.
I’ve co authored a series of short stories with my son, Connor who is now 12. My daughter, Caelyn, is currently writing a book on her own
I’m 6’2″ and weigh about 235 now. I have brown hair and eyes and am a mixture of mostly Irish, some German, and a smidgen of English, Scots, and French Canadian.
I only blush when I talk about myself or my books. I am currently sitting at the computer chanting, “I can’t believe I’m writing this, I can’t believe I’m writing this…”
The only things I won’t eat are Liver and Lima Beans.
The rest changes on a regular basis.
Well I hope you enjoyed my little extended biography. Feel free to ask questions 😉